Smelly River

I was at OMSI a couple weeks ago with my family, and they have a great exhibit right now that explains Portland’s overflow water problem. The basic problem (if you don’t know about it) is this: when there’s too much rain -- which really doesn’t have to be much rain at all -- the sewers in some neighborhoods get backed up and start sending overflow water (which includes both rain water and waste water) directly into the Willamette River. This means that the Willamette gets filled with waste water almost every time there’s a pretty big rain. Eww. (If you want to learn more about the problem, click here.)

This week’s song, “Smelly River,” imagines an old western movie, one in which the good guy comes into town to clean up the rabble. In the song, our John Wayne-type has come to do away with the sewer overflow problem.

Incidentally, I promise that after last week’s new-year’s-vice-squad song and this week’s western-wastewater song, I’ll write something more normal next week!

Lyrics:

I wandered into town one day, ridin’ my horse Jed.

And then a tickle hit my nose -- “That stinks!” is what I said.

Well, then I realized what town I was in, the place that makes me shiver,

The town with the big sewer overflow problem: I’d found Smelly River.

Oh smelly Smelly River!

Why are you so hard on my nose?

Oh smelly Smelly River!

The worst place this cowboy knows.

“Pee-yoo!” I cried, as I held my breath, tryin’ to get away from that smell.

Jed looked blue from the awful stench, and then he nearly fell.

I pulled out my cell phone from my holster, prepared to rave and rant,